i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
