East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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