She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
