I got chris browned last night
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
