we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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