Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
