i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
