Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
