Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
