she looked like the before picture.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
