the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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