What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
