Buhtt sex?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
