If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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