I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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