I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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