Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My cat gives me a boner
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
