whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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