how can u be prego again
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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