I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
