These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
