you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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