I smell stomach acid.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
