Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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