As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
