is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
