Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
