just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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