Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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