Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
