That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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