am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
