Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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