the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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