are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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