I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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