i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
