Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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