hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize