I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
