so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
