So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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