You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize