how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
