Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
