the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
