how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
