Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Everything about him screamed your future.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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