ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize