So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
