she looked like the bat from fern gully.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
