Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
