Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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