Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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