Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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