i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
