I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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