I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
