Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
